All winter, I’ve felt run down. It seems like I’ve been sick since late December.
Even typing this now, I realize how much time has passed and just how long I’ve been feeling this drain.
Where did the last three months go? What memories did I create? I can’t answer that question very easily, but I can tell you one thing – I’ve been busy.
‘Busy’…the word I’ve successfully and systematically removed from my canned response to, “How have you been?”
It’s easy to be “busy” and it’s easy to conflate “busy” with other adjectives that give you a sense of worth, like “productive” and “important.”
It starts off as a little endorphin rush…
“I’d love to meet and discuss [thing].”
Oh, a meeting? With me? You see value in spending time with me? There’s that endorphin rush…that fulfilling sense of worth…
Then I’d a look at the calendar.
Well I’ve got a couple hours in the evenings in this week…
And then the evenings were full.
Well there are the weekends, and that’s TOTALLY flexible…I like morning coffee anyway, gets me out of bed and gets me inspired to be productive.
Then before I knew it, all of my time in the evenings were spoken for. Then, even my weekend mornings. That left, outside of work obligations, about 24 waking hours at my disposal. But look how full that calendar looks! How efficiently I use my time…how ‘well’ I manage my time…
Oh man I am one productive and important dude.
Meanwhile, I’m speedwalking from meeting to meeting. Place to place. It’s no wonder my body has been so weak.
Where did my January through March go?
When I’m not cutting myself enough slack, and finding worth from within, it’s easy to trade my time for the feeling of worth I get from others.
Time is our most scarce and valuable commodity. Be mindful of who or what you trade it to, and remember that it is always your choice.